Hi, I don't know where to start, and I don't know how to make it short, so it is going to be a long read for some of you so please bear with me. I want to go into details so I can get the best help from people here and because I feel like I should die as I cannot possibly bring myself to live without this girl I love so much.

So anyway, I have known her for like an year online but we have never met. We were recovering from a major break up, so I told her to swear on her mom( who has passed away) that if I ever mess it up again, she will change her number so I can never get in touch with her again or text her, and it will help me move on. I know I'm ****ing stupid for forcing her to do that. So basically I messed it up big time this Saturday( because she did not talk to me night before), so I argued wit her. She said she wants to hang up because her head is hurting, I was worried and asked her if she is going to change number. She said she isn't but she just wants to go take a rest. I repeatedly ask her as I cried to her on phone keeping in mind that I made her swear on her mom, and she reassured me several times she isn't. She then said I can call her from 11:30-12 , which I did. She didn't pick so I texted her. She text back saying her niece was vomitting and she has to look after her. We exchanged messages( she sent only 2 after and I sent like quite a few to ask her where we stand).
These are her messages
1st one right after she hung up: Don't call back or I will change my number. I'm not kidding jus call later. hm you did da worst 2 me. Nd don't kep texting either im telling you
2nd one when we were supposed to talk: I'm sry but I cant talk now. Jazz(her niece) threw up, guna watch her n stop kalling n texting im dead serious
Last one after me txting few times: Ya her dad is coming in a lil n im fine 2 but plz stop msgs you dont listen, I hate your guts, im not chaning my number buh keep textin n kalling ull get

That was like 3 pm on Saturday, and after that I sent her few messages after waiting a while etc, but no reply until now.

She's on prepaid and I am able to check her balance using her phone company's toll free number and entering her. Since Saturday she has not used her phone as the only charges she lost are 5 cents for every message I sent. Usually she uses like 5-10 dollars everyday. This makes me believe maybe she got a new phone and different number and threw this one away as there seems to be no activity for it. Also the fact she swore on her mom. So all this makes me believe that I am no longer going to be in touch with her ever again, that it is all over for us.

I have been depressed as I love this girl a lot, few people I have sought support from are telling me to basically forget her and move on. So please do not offer me any of those suggestions, only I know how much I love her and how hard it is for me to even THINK about moving on. My only question is based on her text messages, what do you think? Should I give it a couple of days and see if she reaches me herself? Or is she going to keep her mom's swear even though she assured me she is not changing the number? Is there any hope for me? For all I know, I feel like committing suicide if this does not work out. I have been empty stomach for 2 days( basically don't feel hunger anymore ), I ate today with family but vomitted later on all my food. I am non stop crying as 2-3 people are telling me to forget her, that I know just will not happen. Please do you have any suggestions for me, is there any hope? I know no other way to get in touch with her other than phone. She has email but we do not really chat, and I feel like she is probably going to block me if she does not want to talk anymore. So please, what can I do?

Exactly how I feel. If anything that has kept me alive since yesterday is bit of hope I've got left. But it seems to be fading with time as well.

If you are alone, No parents or siblings and or know anyone who will he hurt/broken by ur actions. Then by all mean suite yourself.

It's the people who are left behind that are punished.

Just out of curiosity
how old are you?

__________________
Tomorrow is forced by the battles of today

so what do you need to commit suicide?? you gotta gun??

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__________________
Tomorrow is forced by the battles of today

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Look for help from family n friends

I know they will be hurt and all that, but I am just as hurt/ heart broken because I'm just so deeply in love with her. i feel more worse because I know I brought this on myself, otherwise our relationship was always so wonderful.

I am 21. I've got university exams coming up in few days, but can't seem to study anymore. I only wanted to become a doctor for her, for our future, for our children, but it seems its all over.

You're willing to die for someone you have known for a year? I'm sure you're probably not willing to die for your parents, yet you've known them since you're born. Hmmm weird.

I mainly just wanted to know based on those messages, if there is hope for me. Suicide and stuff is to consider for later, but for now please if anyone could make out from those messages anything, do I have a chance with her?

there so much more to life then just one girl(whom u known for only a year?). and have you ever thought aboutvhow its prohibited in our religion aur baad mey kia hoga. aur waise im sorry u dont seem like 21 at all, more like 17.

Hey, I said suicidal as these 2 days have proven to be extremely hard for me. I know I cannot go on like this for rest of my life. I cannot bring myself to accept the reality that it is all over for me. I still wish there is some way I can get her back. It is only one year, but we just shared so many good memories and future plans. I can't believe it's all over before it even began.

You've never met the girl, yet you've fallen in love with her?! =/

What are you, 16?

Move on, get a life.

My other advice, Find solace in religion... God is one thing that would not turn you away!

If you didn't get her, then she wasn't meant for you and if she is really your true love then she will return to you. No need to end your life and commit a sin due to that.